Lily�s Diary

Bad Taste: Still Not a Punishable Crime

by Lily

March 4
Admit it, some of the sting has gone out of rent control now that the market is in the pits. The thousand dollars a month I was losing on two of my units has ceased to be an issue, as I try mightily to hang on to the tenants I have. That said, the basic injustice of the Rent Ordinance still exists for mom-and-pop owners living in the same building as their tenants. Apart from price control, there is the moral authority that the Ordinance has taken away from us. On the one hand, we are held completely responsible for anything that goes wrong, from mold to street trees. On the other, we are prohibited from making such common-sense decisions about evicting a tenant who either starts a fire through drunkenness, or whose lifestyle annoys other good tenants, or from prohibiting a tenant—as in one recent case—from displaying in his front window a poster showing the president wearing a turban and captioned with a rude insinuation. Worse, if you go to the Rent Board as my friend Sally did, after trying to evict a tenant who sold drugs from his unit at all hours of the day and night, her case was thrown out because the police hadn’t arrested him. And why hadn’t they? The other tenants who complained nonstop to Sally, refused to testify.

March 10
I was having brunch at Zazie’s with Maggie last weekend when she unburdened herself by describing in great detail all the scut work she’d been doing in an empty unit. Do you know what it does to eggs Florentine when someone is babbling on about drain sludge? Anyhow, when she finally got to the subject of carpeting, I felt it was safe to listen more closely. The bedroom apparently has sandalwood wall-to-wall carpeting with some ink stains, or god-knows-what, in the center of the room. She’s tried all the usual things from Energine to enzymes and is preparing herself for the inevitable replacement cost. I asked her, “Have you tried paint?” She looked up from her omelet as though I had just spoken in Croatian. I quickly explained that acrylic paint, purchasable in small bottles in any art store, could be mixed to exactly match the carpet. Yes, anyone can do it if you’re willing to take the time. Dab it on carefully in thin coats, allowing time for each coat to dry, fluffing out the pile with a comb. When you first do it, you think you’ve failed. Then you come back the next day and have a hard time finding the stain.

March 15
This is the time of year when I become self-conscious about the look of the backyard (the word “garden” would be a stretch). It’s too wet to mow the small square of lawn now infiltrated with sour grass (oxalis), the trees are bare, the shrubs are scraggly and the table and chairs are covered with wet leaves. I fear the tenants will complain to the Rent Board for a reduction in services but not enough to actually do something about it. Oh well, I’ll keep the curtains closed and think about it next month.

March 23
I’m so weary from hearing about the “housing crisis.” Does anyone look at the hundreds of apartments for rent on craigslist? Aren’t we told there are almost 2,000 new units now under construction or soon to be built? The crisis is used as an excuse to make drastic changes in height and density controls through a variety of measures affecting different parts of the city (the Housing Element, secondary-unit legislation and the recently failed Workforce Housing Initiative). I say, enough already about the housing crisis. Sure, there’s a shortage of two- and three-bedroom units affordable for low-income families. But isn’t that why Section 8 subsidized housing was created? In the last few years, the subsidies offered are comparable to San Francisco prices, more so now than last year. But where are the property owners willing to take a chance? Could it possibly be that applying just-cause eviction rules scared them off? There are solutions to problems, but none of the right people seem to be talking to each other.

April 2
I had to replace a venetian blind in Apt. #3, so I went to Home Depot and had 42-inches in alabaster cut to order while I waited. Such a deal. I never have to buy custom blinds anymore. I’ve learned from experience to only give the clerk the measurement of the inside dimensions of the window. Forget the width of the previous blind or the outside measurements or even the length (clearly marked on the box), for these measurements only make her crazy. The less said the better, unless you want major attitude. Then she makes some kind of calculation based on a cabalistic formula that you again don’t want to ask about. So far, the blinds have always fit perfectly. Of course, the advantage of always buying the same brand is that you don’t have to reinstall that pesky hardware.

April 5
Once again, loyalties to my neighborhood organization are coming into conflict with my predisposition to defend property rights. In January, a couple (let’s call them the Simpson’s) bought a pair of rundown flats in the middle of my block. The building had been stripped of its original Victorian detail and covered in asbestos siding. You know the look. The Simpson’s applied for a demolition permit and announced plans to construct three condos in its place. The design they submitted to the Planning Department was sort of a combination Early California, late Queen Anne and recent dot-com live-work style. Anyhow, the neighbors have been gathering signatures to protest the demolition, based on the reasoning that if the building is sound enough to have tenants living in it, which it does, it shouldn’t be torn down. The S’s can prove that reconfiguring the building in its current state (within code and zoning restrictions) would cost more than starting from scratch. I see both sides, but if it basically conforms to the zoning ordinance and isn’t too outrageous, I think a person has the right to maximize his investment. And, as much as my friend Tom would like it otherwise, bad taste is still not a crime punishable by law. I expressed this view at a meeting last week and, well, some neighbors aren’t even letting their dogs pee on my bushes anymore.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of the SFAA or the San Francisco Apartment Magazine. A longtime rental property owner who reserves the right to remain anonymous on the grounds that her tenants might gang up on her writes Lily’s Diary. Copyright © 2004.