lily's Diary

By Lily

December 28
Maggie and I went for dinner at Joe’s of Westlake last night. She was treating me for giving her the name of a carpenter who rebuilt her back stairs for a very fair price. (Don’t bother to email me; I won’t give his name to another living soul.) Anyway, we were sitting at the bar talking about one of her tenants who wants to rent a parking space in her garage. She doesn’t need the space right now because she sold her car and is going the City-CarShare route. I told her that if she goes ahead and rents it to him, thanks to Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi, the space will fall under rent control. If she should want it back, it would be subject, just like the apartment itself, to the “just cause” eviction laws. She said that she hadn’t intended to actually charge him anything for a while, until she is absolutely sure she can do without a car. Doesn’t matter, I told her. Once you have granted him the right to use it, if you take it away, he could have his rent reduced for a decrease in housing services. “Did you discuss how much you would eventually charge him?” I asked. “A hundred bucks a month,” she replied. “So, by saying that, you’ve placed a value on the space. He could ask to have his rent lowered by $100,” I explained. The conversation ended abruptly when our number boomed out over the loud speaker and we had a scant two minutes to claim our table in the Cascade Room.

January 7
I adore the lawyers’ panel before SFAA meetings. I can’t help laughing (and sometimes crying) at the situations people describe. Last month someone asked what to do about a tenant who slammed doors. This reminded attorney Saul Ferster about a similar problem a client had with loud lovemaking that was disturbing the tenant below. For both, he advised ignoring the emotional content of the situation and simply treating it as a noise problem. For the door slammer, he advised installing a device that gently stopped the door from closing quickly. The energetic lovers were offered a thicker carpet pad and foam padding between the bedstead and the wall. It’s easy if you view it not like Sister Mary Ignatius, but more like Heloise.

January 11
I just read an article on managing rental property that advised never speaking directly to your tenant unless absolutely necessary; that everything should be communicated by letter. This was obviously not advice aimed at a small property owner. When you live in the same building as your tenants, you had better be prepared to talk to them. More than that, you need to be prepared to be friendly. Sometimes, to be the least bit remote would be an affront and start that dreaded cycle of frostiness.

Take a new baby, for example. When invited in to see the newborn, how can you not give a small gift? When you hear there’s been a death in the family, how can you not offer condolences? When the car’s been towed away on street cleaning day, can you afford to act superior (even if you feel it)? You may be the landlord, but you’re also a neighbor.

On the other hand, it goes without saying that you have to be businesslike, especially when every concession (good deed or favor) can turn into a waiver of rights. But, over the years, I’ve found it works out best to be warm and cordial, but not so much that you encourage intimacy. I’ve had young tenants that mistook my friendliness for deep caring and felt compelled to go into confessional mode, revealing parts of their past that I’d rather not know. For this, I have a standard response. I look deeply into their eyes and say, with as much meaning as I can, “Why doesn’t anyone ever tell us how very hard life is?” Then I walk away, as if aroused memories of my own past make the conversation too painful to continue.

January 16
My friend Robert, who masochistically ponders the Tenants Union’s website, tells me that they are mobilizing against a state measure now circulating (and probably “certified” for the June ballot by the time you read this) that protects private property from being transferred—via the federal law of eminent domain—for the benefit of a private enterprise. And, by the way, it would also phase out rent control in the state of California. At the present moment, the city’s various rental property advocates seem lukewarm. I think the reason is that a poll commissioned by the California Apartment Association finds that only 41% of likely voters would support it. This has resulted in much head scratching by our advocates. Should they throw a lot of their (our) money into a losing proposition, even one so near and dear to our hearts? The poll found that California voters would support the bill if they eliminated the rent control part and there’s undeniably an industry obligation to support that. But, wait—there’s a competing measure that will do just that. Quel dilemma. Hell, I don’t care what the polling predicts, I say, go for it—even if the measure might restrict beneficial environmental planning and, in that respect, is admittedly a trifle too broad. Every day of the week, the State Legislature passes broadly written laws that provide its members with lots of subsequent work writing legislation to mitigate and repair the damage they’ve done. Why, just once, can’t they pass a slightly overreaching law that benefits rental property owners? Considering that every legislative session produces a new attack on the Costa-Hawkins and Ellis acts, maybe we should follow current national policy and go for a preemptive strike.

January 18
I see that my neighborhood skincare shop has a “Deep Water Bath” stopper in its window. This is the gismo that plugs up a bathtub’s overflow so that it can be filled to the brim. Of course, the inevitable will happen, as it did in Apartment 3, when my now-ex-tenant Cindy was filling the bathtub and got a phone call. I went into the shop and told the clerk about the potential danger of this item. She looked at me as though I was demented, then said she’d “tell the owner.” I happen to know that she is the owner.

As I walked home, I thought of a pal of mine who always tells her tenants that she’s just the building manager. She thinks this gives her a certain distance from complaints—and their solutions. I bite my tongue in front of her but, inside, think that this is a chicken-hearted practice. Being a landlord is a wonderful opportunity to grow in authenticity, in the Jungian sense. Dealing directly with a tenant is seldom easy, but it’s good practice for conflict resolution in your own life.

I learned this in the 1970s after taking workshops in “active listening,” “fighting fair” and “ the inner child” (not to mention the “goddess” seminars). I found out that you don’t have to go to the expense of having a teacher set up trial situations, you can teach yourself intestinal fortitude by practicing on your tenants. Okay, I can’t do it all the time, but I sure as hell know when I’m wearing the chicken suit. And now I’ll step off the soapbox. Can you tell I was finally writing my New Year’s resolutions this morning?

 

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The opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of SFAA or SF Apartment Magazine. “Lily’s Diary” is written by a longtime rental property owner who reserves the right to remain anonymous on the grounds that her tenants might gang up on her. Comments, corrections or ideas are welcome at lilysdiary@aol.com. Copyright © 2008 by SF Apartment Magazine. All rights reserved.